Here Is Why Defying Gravity Should Be Your ExJW Theme Song

I was never a big fan of The Wizard of Oz. The 1939 movie aired on television annually, but I was a GenX kid and a Star Wars fan. To me, the Wizard of Oz scenery seemed rudimentary. And the casting choices were weird.  Judy Garland seemed too grown-up (she was actually 17) for the faux childish voice and the little girl’s dress. And the plot had gaps. Did we ever get any background on what made Glinda so good other than her Aryan features? How did Oz even develop? Was it in another dimension or was it another country?

Decades later, I was only mildly interested in seeing the film adaptation of the play that was the prequel to the Wizard of Oz.  But, my kid loves theatre so we went to the cinema for Wicked 2024. Color me surprised when Green Elphaba’s outsider status spoke directly  to my teen experience (a Black teen in a racist small Georgia town whose family had weird religious beliefs). 

Months later when I listened to Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande’s rendition of Defying Gravity while waiting in the school carpool lane, I was suddenly moved to tears. It’s as if the lyrics resonated with my subconscious while my ADD brain multitasked, and I suddenly understood how the song speaks to my experience in leaving a high-control religion.

Remember Glinda’s opening salvo to Elphaba?

I hope you're happy

I hope you're happy now

I hope you're happy how you hurt your cause forever

I hope you think you're clever

Doesn’t this sound like the response that we received when we tried to tell JW family and friends why we were leaving the org? Tell them that our questions or doubts led us to research on our own; to investigate the doctrine that we were constantly fed, and they told  us that our questioning meant that we were no longer in sync with God’s chariot  from some prophecy of Ezekiel. Our independent thought was the issue and not the lies/misrepresentation/ and obfuscation of the religion. 

Glinda’s communications with Elphaba vacillate between angry chiding and cajoling  and she sounds exactly like our JW relatives entreating us to return to the “Truth;” to reenact the parable of the Prodigal Son although we had not received or squandered an inheritance. 

Elphie, listen to me, just say you're sorry

You can still be with the Wizard

What you've worked and waited for

You can have all you ever wanted…

Elphaba’s response is chef’s kiss:

But I don't want it

No, I can't want it anymore

Did you decide to relinquish your spot in the promised New World? I am absolutely fine with the knowledge that I will never get to pet the lions in Paradise that will give up carnivory because Isaiah told them to. I will not get to introduce my resurrected paternal grandparents to my children. And I will never be moving into a householder’s palatial home after God kills her and her family off at Armageddon.  It’s the trade-off for living my truth and making my own choices and I am 100% o.k. with my choices. 

But, for me, Elphaba’s character arc; her coming into her own-that’s the part that moves me to tears:

Something has changed within me

Something is not the same

I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game

Too late for second-guessing

Too late to go back to sleep

It's time to trust my instincts

Close my eyes and leap

Seriously, how easy would it be to slide back into the JW worldview; where right and wrong are Black or white depending on the Governing Body’s new light or lack thereof? It was a helluva lot easier to return to familiar if nonsensical rules than it was to trust our instincts. But this new found independence comes at a price. 

I'm through accepting limits

'Cause someone says they're so

Some things I cannot change

But 'til I try, I'll never know

Too long I've been afraid of

Losing love, I guess I've lost

Well, if that's love, it comes at much too high a cost

And then, my Girl, Elphaba decided to reintroduce herself:

So if you care to find me

Look to the western sky

As someone told me lately

"Everyone deserves the chance to fly"

And if I'm flying solo

At least I'm flying free

To those who'd ground me

Take a message back from me

Tell them how I am defying gravity

I'm flying high, defying gravity

And soon I'll match them in renown

And nobody in all of Oz

No Wizard that there is or was

Is ever gonna bring me down

To all of my fellow exJWs, my hope for you is that you will continue to Defy Gravity. Fly free. Don’t let anyone ever ground you again with doctrinal nonsense. I’ll look for you in the western sky.